Where Do I Go From Here?!

Where do I even begin…

I am pretty sure the last month has been a little bit of an emotional rollercoaster for me. Last time we talked we were on our way to fundraising a trip to Cambodia and Thailand to help with Destiny Rescue {helping with an organization that rescues girls from sex trafficking}. That was until I had an overwhelming feeling when I was taking a shower one late night… is that TMI?  Anyways, I just knew that door was suddenly being closed. I told Ben and he agreed.

God put on my heart that it wasn’t the right time. I was totally bummed, but at the same time, I had this overwhelming feeling that it was the right thing… except the feeling of letting everyone down who donated. I am still planning on getting in contact with every one of you… In all honesty, I have been putting it off and getting an idea of what could be the next step.

1. Give money back
2. Save money for a 2018 trip
3. Put towards rescuing a girl

SO THEN…

There was this big possibility of moving to Boise… in like a month. I was ready to go, and to be honest, I wanted out of our small town for a while. Our first three years of marriage was filled with so much change that I have been wanting something big to happen. Want to know what happened??

SLAM! Door closed.

Again, peace but not really wanting to accept that I would have to be content with our current situation…. the same situation we have been reliving for FOUR years, trying to get out of debt. We both want to be debt free, and moving wouldn’t really move us forward with our goals. I also didn’t want to settle for another apartment. I told myself that our next place would be a house with a backyard…

I know dreams come true.

So here I am. Writing. The one thing that allows me to dig deep and search my heart for what I really want.

I really don’t understand why I don’t get on here more. Writing is breath of fresh air. Although I am terrified of not writing the correct way, part of me really doesn’t care. This is my space, and I am choosing to live my life out loud for the world to read. Writing allows me to escape the never-ending thoughts running through my head. It allows me to process and stops me from overthinking EVERYTHING. Writing is FREEDOM!

I know that if I commit to getting on here and writing that I will see where this whole “Her Life Out Loud” thing is going. I have so many ideas and desires, but I am trying to focus on what God intended it to be… not what I think it should be.

xoxo

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